Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
