just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
