you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
