remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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