That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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