dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
