Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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