I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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