Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
