I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
