I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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