My friends, they love my intelligence
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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