dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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