thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
