I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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