New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
