I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize