Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
