So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
