I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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