You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
