I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
