yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
