I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
