Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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