just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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