guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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