Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
