I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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