maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am naked and annoyed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
