That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
