I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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