did you get engaged???
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
