It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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