I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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