Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
