So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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