he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
