Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
