Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
