Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Semen is not good for contacts.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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