The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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