oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
