why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
