he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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