We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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