You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
