Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
