just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
