I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
