It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
