dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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