What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
