New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
