Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
