I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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