i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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